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How to Let the Pain Go and Begin to Move Forward

We all have to deal with pain, disappointment or hurt at some point in our life. It’s inevitable, a part of life that no one can escape. How you handle these moments is critical in moving forward. You have to let go and move on. But how?

Regardless of where the pain comes from, the healing process is difficult. Even though it may seem like there is no way out, there are a few things you can do to let go of your pain and being to move forward into a better emotional space. These are some techniques that I have used in my own personal healing process.

Forgive. The definition of forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw or mistake. I strongly believe that before you can begin the healing process, you have to forgive. You have to forgive the person who has hurt or offended you and you have to forgive yourself. Once you have let go of the anger or resentment, you can begin to heal the pain. Yahshua told his disciple Peter to forgive seventy times seven. Likewise, if your anger and resentment come back (and it might), you may need to forgive again.


Be Present. There is a saying, “If you’re depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” The key to letting go is to focus on the present, the here and now. It can be hard, but you have to keep the thoughts of the past where they happened, IN THE PAST. The late great Maya Angelou once said, “If you must look back, do so forgivingly. If you must look forward, do so prayerfully. However, the wises thing you can do is to be present in the present…Gratefully.”

Create a positive mantra. You will recall memories of what happened, and those thoughts may trigger feelings. When this happens, you have to be prepared to counter those thoughts so that you can remain focused on the present. I created a positive mantra that I say out loud whenever I begin to have negative thoughts or feelings, “I’m in a better place now, working on my happiness and focused on moving forward.” Make it your phone screensaver, your computer background, or write it on a post-it note. Put it somewhere you will see every day as a reminder.


Read positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are a great way to overcome negative thoughts. When you are looking for affirmations, seek out affirmations of where you want to be emotionally rather than where you are currently. Thinking about where you want to be emotionally will help you create a vision and goal for yourself, which allows you to begin to move forward.

Seek professional help. Friends and family are great resources for support to help you get through your situation. But sometimes that isn’t enough, or you may not have a good support system. You don’t have to be alone in your healing process. Go to a professional who can help you through the process. You can go to a traditional counselor in your local area for individual or group counseling. Talkspace also provides online counseling available.

Rinse and repeat. The most important thing that I’ve learned is that this is not a one and done process. We’re all human and we are subject to digress. Permit yourself to start the process over again. Rinse and repeat each step as many times as you need until the pain is gone and you’ve moved on.

Also refer to 3 Things You Can Do To Stay Positive for more information.

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